debate on sexual abuse

i was given a note at a recent solo show decrying me for not engaging people in a discussion about sexual abuse during shows or warning people that there would be songs about sexual abuse during xiu xiu shows. that it could be traumatic for people who had dealt with this issue.

the note, which i somehow lost and even though i took a photo of it to post some how lost the photo too? (WTF!!!!!!!), was written in terms of "us" which i took to mean people who had suffered from abuse. if i read it correctly, it implied that i did not have the right to talk about it; that i am not part of this "us." although i would love not to be, i am.

the person who gave me the note asked me, before i could read it, if i wanted talk to him about this as yet unread note. which i said i would of course but then i could not find him upon then reading it. (so many holes in this, sorry)

i have no idea how to feel about this. part of me wants to say fuck you fucking arrogant wounded dumb shit, part of me wonders if i have not been clear about the purpose of being blunt about awful things, part of me thinks for sure i do not feel responsible for leading a discussion group during a show, part of me want to do anything i can to be the right person for people who have gone through this but how?

what do you think?

if you have any thoughts about this please write me at willitburn@hotmail.com
i will post every response so if you do not want to be posted do not write.
but i will not print any names or emails, of course, unless asked to.
none of the emails will be replied to, only posted.

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
jamie from xiu xiu